19 : i fall in love just a little ol' little bit

When you're younger, you're all too eager to start giving away piece of your heart. You hand them out all over the place, like pamphlets, like your smiles. And they shine brilliantly and brightly for a moment, but a moment is not long enough.

When you're young, you'll listen eagerly to the stories of first hand-holdings, first flirtations, first kisses. You'll want to contribute so badly. So badly that you carry on giving out pieces of your heart because that first kiss will solve all of your problems. You will be a woman then. You will be bigger than the monsters that hound you.

Lovely, you will have your first kiss. You don't need to rush it. It is not meant to be steeped in lust, left to brew for so long that it turns dark and bitter. It is not meant to be had with a man ten years older than you - First kisses are meant to be light and youthful. They are meant to almost put you off of kissing forever. Believe me, first kisses are not something to be saved.

And believe me, kissing someone is fun. It can be so, so much fun. You don't have to be in love, you don't even have to know a person particularly well to have a good kiss. And maybe my words should be taken with a pinch of salt, because I've kissed people the first time that I've met them and never again, but you won't regret it. Just, don't stand at the sidelines. Don't wait for him to ask you to dance. Do it for yourself.

These are good kisses. Great kisses come when you love and respect everything that they are. That turns kissing into something else entirely. You'll enjoy that. You'll enjoy both, just don't get them mixed up.

In the same way, do not mistake the one you miss at 2 a.m when you are lonely for the one you miss at 2 p.m when you are rushed off of your feet.

Do not count the calories. Ever.

Do not feel that you have to have every experience right now, this instant.

Don't feel that you have to wait for "The One." Because sometimes The One will reach for you, but only because you were there first. And when you aren't there, he'll reach for a bottle. He'll reach for another woman. And sometimes, The One will turn to you and their handsome face will be marred with the lies that drip down their chin.

Lovely, I have no wise words and I have no lessons. I have scars and I have stories, and I would tell you to be careful with your heart whilst playing Hacky Sack with my own. I do not have the answer.

Dear girls,
Sometimes the person that you would dive in front of a bullet is the one holding the gun.

Dear girls,
There is no "how to" on life. There is trial, there is error, and there is that proud moment when you first suss it out for yourself.

Dear girls,
Someone out there is so proud of you, just for breathing.

Dear girls,
Sometimes, that person is me.