70 : i'm not just some face you used to know


It was never just me. You walked into a room and everyone gravitated towards you. You exuded this feeling of warmth, this feeling of coming home. It was never just me that you made feel like the most beautiful girl in the room. It was something about the way that you locked eyes. Your smile was a shared secret. Your laugh was rough around the edges. Everyone loved you. You made every person feel like they’d touched a star.

And that night I found myself looking at you differently. 

And that night I found myself trying to save every moment. Because what had felt so natural, and so mundane, suddenly had a countdown. Because God, people like you don’t stay. People like you slip through fingers. People like you leave in the night with no pre-emptive fight. You are too handsome for ugly words and bare hearts.

I stayed up and traced the veins in your arm. I tried to memorise the feel of you under my hands, because you made everyone feel so special. 
And true, I am young - but I have learnt that when everyone is special, no-one is. I had your love for a few months, but I was a song stuck in your head. I’d be replaced soon enough. 
I am young, but there are scars here that I can’t quite paint over.

When I left in the night, you didn’t stir.